I have a habit of looking too far into things that sometimes don’t need it. It causes thoughts to keep moving past there helpful uses and into creating needless concern.And vision into the personal feelings that don’t need expressed. Yet I get an inspiration of trying to get the most help a lot of times.Not for myself but people who don’t seem to have a true understanding of what’s going on.I try hard to find the perspective of all sides, sometimes it’s so easy for me to see what the outcome would be. And a lot of times I’m proven wrong just like we all do at times.I really don’t like this feeling of being correct or like I’m teaching someone something. But I’m human and making mistakes is extremely easy for me. Mostly that’s what happens I get frustrated and just let it all out there before having all the facts. ADD causes me to only read so much and then I’m on to something else or jumping to conclusions. I try to understand and have information from different sources and at times I take up the wrong source. And apologizing is easier but I don’t like to just like most people. And at that point I look things up more intensely and get the right answer or corrections. But I look so far past the place I should sometimes and it makes me sense that a dull part of my personality is what I show. Right I still don’t get overjoyed about anything an I don’t feel the sadness as much as others do. Most times I have wanted to lose my stiffness of emotions and I’ve Come a long long way. I can speak so much better with people who still notice that I’m just not as excitable as most people.I keep that stiff upper lip attitude. Its an unbending attitude and a smile where laughter should be. I have this little chuckle thing. Been decades since a belly laugh came out of my soul. Even though it’s usually fatigue that seems to curtail the most important parts of the emotional response. But it’s not fun very often too feel things so strongly that I need to seek out and speak up about things that aren’t important to even waste time with. But it’s me and my monotone
voice that No one can hear that keeps so much depression there constantly
Herbert j. Regan jr.