How much does taking a chill cost?

Why does taking a chill from things have to involve an anti depressant,a anxiety medicine and a pain pill. It’s too much for me too deal with.My own feelings of desperation and failure followed by psychotic thoughts and symptoms of complete uselessness. All I wanted to do was succeed. But every dream for my life having been cut short by thoughts of selfharm and failing before even beginning.The loneliness that never had too happen is life altering because of no self-esteem it hard to invite someone into my life when i don’t have a clue as how to begin a conversation or being terrified of trying. And the dangerous fellings of failing. Everyone else who i loved are gone. And hurting people because of my own hatred for seeing their accomplishments. And trying too understand why mine have never occurred.Where did i go wrong?Why am I this person? Who is this person?Why must I need medication and therapy and groups on being assertive when no one I’m related too needs these things? Because it’s a matter of life or suicidal thoughts and the numbness of a heart that aches to find love and compassion. Yet I meet stigma and hate from people who cant understand why doing what they do an handling things the way they do is impossible for me. I write about my life and how people who dont give me a chance because their afraid of me. And as they put it; “my kind” What is my kind? I don’t know..im curtious. And kind and i give everyone a chance even those who dont like me i treat respectfully.But I dont always get it back. Im treated like I’m stupid or dangerous. I don’t know what I feel if I’m physically ill it’s always said to be a mental health problem without even being considered to be anything else. I’m left feeling like because I’m known as having an “issue”I’m treated like im incapable of being physically sick. My pain or my weak sick in the stomach feelings. are caused by my psych medicine even though almost all medications for physical problems cause the same side effects. No physician wants to admit their meds cause anything adverse. Its never their fault. So I have to demand them too help. And when a known mental patient speaks up you become a problem patient. And all you have is the common flu. And the fact that the psych meds haven’t been changed in a long time and have never caused any problems like this in the past. But now its the cause of a whole new illness. Never do they admit to it being any treatments they’ve ordered I’m either a hypochondriac or just someone looking for meds. But the problem doesnt lie in the mentally ill person it lies in a Dr. That doesn’t want to be bothered with helping you but he always gives you an appointment so he can take your money and keep you coming back. While all he says is its the psych meds. But when you end up dead from something you may of had a good chance to survive but he didnt even want to check out your symptoms correctly. Its not right to be treated like you dont matter for anyone

Herbert j Regan jr

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