Every moment of my life I’m tired of having to be the one I see as reserved and asking the most important or relevant questions about everything why cant I just enjoy something for what it is. Why do I need to find out what’s behind everything. Or have the need to debunk anything that seems like it’s enjoyable or perfect yet I have a need to look at things like there’s a lie connected or conspiracy to defraud people who am I that I need to destroy something others like or love why is there in me a need to reveal how something has an alterior motive. I hate that about myself. But I can’t stop asking more then needed it’s a natural thing for me it destroys people’s fun and robs their joy. I don’t need to feel cynical or like it’s up to me too find out how people are being ripped off with out feeling the happiness that others do. I look at something and destroy in my mind everything about things. There seems to be a part of disbelief in everything in my thoughts without even giving anything a chance. I look an am happy to see people enjoying something but then a little while later I’m thinking of how people are being ripped off or fooled by claims about any product or person who am I too make it my place to destroy any belief others have. I hate my mind at times because of the need too look beyond the surface of everything it disappoints me and mostly other people who just want to find something good or pleasurable. Why do i need to find out how people could get hurt not only physically hurt but financially or the lies behind every decision people are offered.
Herbert j Regan Jr.